Girls' Relational Aggression
Gossip, Rumors,and Name-Calling Damages Girls’ Self-Esteem
This article examines girls' experiences as predators in their deliberate intent to harm another girl's reputation through gossip, rumors, and name-calling. It also discu
High schools have become the breeding ground for girls’ destructive, popular cliques. The ringleaders of the groups are often girls with the highest level of social status and the most popularity. They use their power to manipulate and control the other girls in the group and those outside of the group.
As a form of relational aggression they spread rumors and gossip behind a girl’s back as means for intimidation and control. Name-calling becomes vicious and purposeful when some girls are singled out and called “whore, slut, tart, or fat”. A primary objective for many of these cliques is to set out to destroy the reputation of one particular girl. This is a realistic concern when an entire grade level of girls agrees to ignore and reject this individual for the school year.
Why Girls Are Hostile
A study conducted by Lawrence Owens, Phillip Slee, and Rosalyn Shute in School Psychology International, (2000, Volume 21, Issue 4) showed that girls participated in aggressive encounters for the following reasons:
- Boredom
- Lack of excitement
- Desire for attention
- Inclusion in the right group
- Self-protection
- Jealousy over appearance and close friendships
- Competition for boys
- Revenge
- Friendship
When Girls Become Targets of Relational Aggression
The "initial effect of an aggressive attack is confusion". As a result, girls feel
- Embarrassed
- Angry
- Worried
- Lonely
- Self-conscious
- Betrayed
- Sad
- Depressed
Feeling overwhelmed, girls cover up their feelings, blame their selves, and deny the experience ever happened. However, the repercussions from repressing their emotions eventually lead to psychological pain. This is evident in girls' increased hurt, fear, and anxiety. They experience the loss of self-esteem, the loss of self-confidence, and become fearful of any future relationships. Their psychological pain leads to a desire to escape by withdrawing from families and friends, losing interest in school or wanting to transfer to another school, and "most seriously, thoughts of suicide".
Girls’ Quotes of Their Hurt from Gossip Rumors I
It is important to include girls’ quotes from the study because they portray a realistic image of how painful these experiences were for them. The emotional phases girls went through when they first experienced the aggressive encounter follows each quote.
- "Why are they doing this to me?" (Confusion about what happened)
- "She acted tough, like she didn't care" (Covering up feelings)
- "It hurts a hell of a lot" (Pain)
- "I want to move to another school" (Desire to escape)
- "Will this go on forever" (Fear and paranoia)
- "Everybody hates me and I'll never get better" (Despair)
All of these responses indicate the seriousness of this problem in girls’ perceptions of their selves and their relationships. Adolescence is a critical period in girls’ lives. They journey into this phase with great apprehension, feelings of vulnerability, and much insecurity. Because girls critically evaluate and assess themselves, they need all of the social and emotional support families, friends, and educators can provide.
